?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Frogs, curses and bad-tempered squirrels

Fandom: Primeval
Pairing: Nick / Ryan
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,700
Summary: "Come on, let’s have a look around. And everyone keep an eye out for rogue squirrels with bad language."



Frogs, curses and bad-tempered squirrels



No one was entirely sure what had happened. The anomaly had opened early that morning and, so far, nothing had come through except for one small bird. The little blue bird had circled around for a while, twittering happily, before going back of its own accord. It appeared safe and, from looking at the bird, a fairly recent time period beyond the anomaly. As Ryan wasn’t there to stop them, Nick suggested that they ‘take a peek’. Purely for research purposes, he said, with Connor adding his own enthusiastic vote for Nick’s suggestion.

That had been six hours ago, and now, four rather shell-shocked people returned. Well, almost four.

“It was that woman, I’m sure of it,” Connor said. “I’m telling you, it was a curse.”

As much as they wanted to object, to point out that magic didn’t exist, the bundle of clothes that Claudia was carrying was proof to the contrary. From the depths of Nick’s green canvas coat, held carefully in her arms, there was a miserable-sounding,

“Rrrrrrribit!”

Claudia shifted the folds of the coat to look down at the frog sitting there, staring back at her.

“It’ll be fine; we’ll think of something.”

“How are we going to explain this to Lester?” Abby wondered aloud.

“How are you going to explain what to me?”

The three humans jumped, the frog taking the wise decision to retreat further into the coat, out of sight.

~.~

(Four hours earlier)

Nick looked around as he stepped through the anomaly and smiled. There was nothing remotely dangerous looking, unless he could count the tranquiliser gun in Abby’s hands. All around were open meadows, occasionally interspaced with small clusters of trees. High above them a flock of small blue birds, similar to the one that had come through the anomaly, swooped and dived in the air, eventually coming down to settle in one of the trees. From somewhere in the tree there was a scuffling sound, followed by an angry shout, and the birds took to the air again, moving to a different tree.

He saw Connor wandering over to the trees before he could stop him, the young man looking up curiously to see who had shouted. Connor stood underneath and squinted up into the branches.

“I can’t see anyone- Hey! That hurt!”

As Connor jumped back, rubbing his forehead and glaring at the tree, Nick rushed to him.

“What happened?”

Connor pointed. “A squirrel. It told me to piss off and then threw an acorn at me! It was a bloody good shot, too!”

Nick smiled. “Of course it did, lad. Come on, let’s have a look around. And everyone keep an eye out for rogue squirrels with bad language,” he added with a chuckle.

“I didn’t imagine it!”

~.~

Maybe he should have believed Connor, Nick thought later from a perspective roughly six feet lower than he should have been.

They had been almost back to the anomaly, ready to return home, when they came across her. The old woman was near to it, waving her cane at it and chanting. When she saw them, her eyes widened and she turned her cane-waving, verse-chanting attentions to them instead.

“We don’t mean you any harm,” Claudia told her in the placating tones she used on Lester when he was getting stressed over the team’s latest mishap. “We just need to get back through that anomaly.”

She didn’t look too placated, Nick thought as the woman hissed ‘Demons!’ at them and began chanting at them again, blocking Abby’s way when she tried to pass by. Abby ducked back as the woman’s cane was jabbed in her direction again. Five minutes later and the old woman was showing no sign of giving up. Rolling his eyes, Nick turned to the others.

“Look, just ignore her and let’s go.”

Connor shook his head. “She threatened to curse Abby when she tried.”

Nick sighed. “Don’t tell me you believe all this clap-trap she’s spouting? She’s just a batty old woman-”

The woman rounded on him, eyes narrowing. “I’ll turn you into a toad.”

Nick smirked. “Yeah right. That? I think I’d like to see.”

Famous last words.

~.~

Stephen looked up when Connor approached, frowning as the younger man took a frog out of the open Tupperware box he was carrying it around in and announced,

“I need you to kiss this.”

He really should be used to this place by now, and the craziness it seemed to instil in people, but a frog? He really didn’t want to ask, but the words were out before he could stop them.

“You want me to do what?”

“Kiss him.” Connor sighed. “Look, it’s important. I’ll tell you why afterwards, but will you please just do it?”

Stephen couldn’t believe he was doing this, but Connor wasn’t going to leave him alone until he did, he reasoned. Another thought struck him.

“If I find out there are cameras hidden in here, filming me kiss some manky frog you’ve fished out of a pond somewhere…”

He could have sworn that the frog actually looked offended as it let out a soft, “Rrrrrribit.”

“There aren’t any cameras, I promise. Claudia did it,” he added.

It wasn’t as disgusting as he’d expected, Stephen thought as he gave the frog a peck on the mouth and leaned back to wipe his lips hastily, and only then realising what he’d just thought. This place was getting to him.

Connor was watching the frog, disappointed.

“Nothing happened. I don’t get it. I was sure it would work.”

Stephen stared at him. “Well what did you expect to happen? That thing to turn into a princess or something?”

“Not exactly…” Connor replied.

~.~

Ten minutes later, Connor barged into Lester’s office. He had been sure that Stephen and Nick had been together but Stephen had corrected him on that. Nothing but friends, he’d said, despite what people seemed to think. Stephen had, however, pointed him in the direction of someone who might be able to help. He’d checked Ryan’s office, the training rooms, even the bunk room in case the Captain was taking a sly nap but nothing. Then someone told him that Ryan had been called up to see Lester just before he got there.

“Connor, does the concept of knocking on doors before you come in completely escape you, or do you just enjoy working the Saturday shifts?” Lester asked.

Connor scurried back outside again, knocked, then came back in. “Sorry, but I need to borrow Ryan for a minute.”

Lester heaved a sigh of relief; he’d been dreading Connor trying to make him kiss that damn frog. Oh, he knew all about the lad’s hair-brained idea but he’d been keeping out of the way in the hope that Connor would forget about him. But still, Ryan? He raised an eyebrow questioningly at Connor.

“I tried Stephen and it didn’t work but he said that Ryan-” he glanced at Ryan and stopped mid-sentence. “Captain, are you and Cutter seeing each other?”

“Yes,” Ryan said slowly. “Look, it’s not against the rules…”

Connor and Lester shared a look. “Stephen said you’d been together for a few months now… Do you love him?”

Ryan folded his arms across his chest and frowned at them both. “I fail to see how that is anyone’s business but mine.” Seeing Lester and Connor watching him intently, showing no signs of losing interest, he sighed. “Fine, maybe. I don’t know yet.”

Connor shrugged his shoulders. “It’ll have to do.”

Ryan watched in disbelief as Connor lifted a brownish-green frog out of a plastic box and handed it to Ryan. The frog padded its little feet a couple of times before settling down on his upturned palm with a soft croak.

“I don’t get it,” he told Connor, confused. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Kiss it.”

Ryan closed his eyes and counted to five but no, when he opened them he was still in Lester’s office holding a frog.

“Well, Captain, do get on with it,” Lester told him, smirking, thoroughly amused by this whole situation now that it looked as though he was safe from being Connor’s next victim.

“But…”

“Ryan, just do it.”

~.~

Whatever Ryan was expecting to happen- he was betting on the footage of this showing up on youtube or something similar- it certainly wasn’t the strange tingling sensation in the air the moment his lips touched the frog, like a static shock. Nor was he expecting to end up with a lapful of naked Nick Cutter.

“It worked!” Connor exclaimed, punching the air before bouncing on the spot and beaming happily. “I knew it!”

“Nick?”

Nick looked at Ryan. “Rrrribit!” He slapped a hand over his mouth, looking shocked and more than a bit embarrassed, before coughing to clear his throat.

“Connor, I think I’d like that explanation now,” Ryan prompted.

Still grinning, Connor looked around at them all. “Simple; the fairytales always say that only true love’s kiss can break a curse.”

“You love me?” Nick asked Ryan cautiously, looking relieved when it came out as words this time.

“Surprised me too,” Ryan said dryly. “When you can be such a pain in the arse sometimes.”

“I love you too,” Nick murmured, sliding his arms around Ryan’s neck and kissing him, only breaking off when Lester uttered a loud sigh.

“Gentlemen, if you could maybe save this until later…? I have no desire to have Professor Cutter’s bare arse in my office any longer than I already have.”

Nick glanced down as though only just remembering that fact. “Unless you want me wandering through the ARC like this, someone is going to have to find me some clothes.”

As Connor went off to find Claudia, seeing as she had brought Nick’s clothes back with them from the anomaly, Lester turned to Nick.

“That’s it. No more wandering through anomalies without my express permission. Is that clear?”

“But-”

“No ‘buts’, professor. I said, is that clear?”

~.~

Lester watched them leave a few minutes later, Nick now clad in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and shook his head.

“Should have kept him as a frog,” he muttered.



~.~
End.



Comments

( 31 comments — Leave a comment )
fredbassett
Mar. 14th, 2012 07:34 pm (UTC)
LOL, Nick as a frog os wonderful. But I can quite see Lester's point, though.

This is great :)
ebonyfeather
Mar. 14th, 2012 10:06 pm (UTC)
Lester really has a lot to put up with sometimes!

Thanks!
kerry_louise
Mar. 14th, 2012 07:48 pm (UTC)
*sniggers* okay this is pure insanity, but it's kinda genius too! lol! brilliant!
ebonyfeather
Mar. 14th, 2012 10:07 pm (UTC)
Insane genius? I can live with that *g*

Glad you liked it.
reggietate
Mar. 14th, 2012 07:52 pm (UTC)
*howls in an unseemly fashion* Oh my God, that was truly, bizarrely hilarious, and I loved every bit of it :-D

Ryan closed his eyes and counted to five but no, when he opened them he was still in Lester’s office holding a frog.

*falls off chair laughing*

(Though I think you got your Ryan's and your Lester's mixed up when they kissed! *g*)
ebonyfeather
Mar. 14th, 2012 10:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
freddiejoey
Mar. 14th, 2012 08:19 pm (UTC)
I love this to bits.

Brilliant idea

ebonyfeather
Mar. 14th, 2012 10:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Glad you liked it.
judithjohn
Mar. 14th, 2012 08:26 pm (UTC)
I knew it was going to be fabulous as soon as you mentioned rogue squirrels
ebonyfeather
Mar. 14th, 2012 10:09 pm (UTC)
The squirrel appeared in the first version and just refused to leave!

Glad you liked it.
fififolle
Mar. 14th, 2012 09:52 pm (UTC)
Hahahah! Loved the last line :D

“Fine, maybe. I don’t know yet.”
Connor shrugged his shoulders. “It’ll have to do.”

*snort*

So funny and rather cute. Loved it!!
ebonyfeather
Mar. 14th, 2012 10:10 pm (UTC)
Poor Ryan- bewildered and being interrogated about his love life. The stuff he puts up with for Nick.

Glad you enjoyed it!
joshinator
Mar. 14th, 2012 10:33 pm (UTC)
Funny and so sweet too.
ebonyfeather
Mar. 15th, 2012 10:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
knitekat
Mar. 14th, 2012 10:36 pm (UTC)
Brilliant. Loved the bad-tempered squirrel and Connor wondering around getting people to kiss Nick the frog and everyone's reaction to him doing so too. Lester ftw with that last comment. *purrs*
ebonyfeather
Mar. 15th, 2012 10:09 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
I rather liked the squirrel so he had to stay in! Lester may have a point- Nick would be much easier to deal with if he couldn't argue...
knitekat
Mar. 15th, 2012 10:42 pm (UTC)
Squirrels are good *nods* Hee, true, but he wouldn't get much work done either.
flaccidduck
Mar. 14th, 2012 10:42 pm (UTC)
This fic is extraordinary - extraordinarily terrific!
ebonyfeather
Mar. 15th, 2012 10:10 pm (UTC)
Stop, you're making me blush *g*
Thank you!
aunteeneenah
Mar. 15th, 2012 02:20 am (UTC)
Frogs, Curses, etc
Thank you for making me laugh! This was just so funny! See, Nick, you shouldn't mess with old women tossing out curses cuz you get turned into a frog! Leave it to Connor to come to the rescue and be the only one who'd be open to saving the day with magic and Nick/Ryan, yeah, that could be pretty magical. Good job. Lot's of fun!
ebonyfeather
Mar. 15th, 2012 10:12 pm (UTC)
Re: Frogs, Curses, etc
Ryan and Nick would be rather magical. Nick really should learn when to keep his mouth shut!

Thank you- glad you liked it.
kristen_mara
Mar. 15th, 2012 07:25 am (UTC)

////He could have sworn that the frog actually looked offended////

*falls about laughing* I love how Lester tries to avoid being roped into kissing duty and orders Ryan to do so. Adore all their reactions to the situation and naked Nick *G*

ebonyfeather
Mar. 15th, 2012 10:15 pm (UTC)
Lester would definitely pull rank on the others to avoid having to kiss the frog!

Thanks for reading!
telperion_15
Mar. 15th, 2012 07:28 pm (UTC)
Hee hee hee! That was great! Although I kind of want to see what other crazy things were in that fairy tale world through the anomaly now! *g*
ebonyfeather
Mar. 15th, 2012 10:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
After swearing squirrels and cursing old women... could be anything!
celeste9
Mar. 16th, 2012 04:58 pm (UTC)
Hee! Of course Connor would go around asking people to kiss the frog. *g* Stephen, Ryan, and Lester's reactions are priceless and I love how the frog managed to retain Nick's personality!
ebonyfeather
Mar. 19th, 2012 07:39 pm (UTC)
Poor boys- they just can't say no to Connor no matter how bizarre the request!

Thank you!
deinonychus_1
Mar. 16th, 2012 09:50 pm (UTC)
It's the frog fic! That was fgreat, poor Nick, love how he even managed to look annoyed in frog form!

“Fine, maybe. I don’t know yet.”
Connor shrugged his shoulders. “It’ll have to do.”


Lol! Love Connor's insistence about what has to be done to fix the situation. So very Connorish!
ebonyfeather
Mar. 19th, 2012 07:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
Poor Nick wasn't a happy frog-- Connor did fix him, though, no matter how bizarre his methods.
lsellersfic
Apr. 1st, 2012 06:03 am (UTC)
*sporfles* Great story!!!

NB. I think you have a typo in the final scene - Nick suddenly kisses Lester when I assume you mean Ryan.
ebonyfeather
Apr. 2nd, 2012 06:31 pm (UTC)
I did have a glitch- all sorted now! Thanks!

Glad you enjoyed it.
( 31 comments — Leave a comment )

Profile

tv-csi ny
ebonyfeather
ebonyfeather

PUBLISHED FICTION

.

ARCHIVES / COMMUNITIES

.

FANFICTION BY FANDOM

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Katy Towell