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A Becker a day

Fandom: Primeval.
Pairing/s: Matt/Becker(s)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,392
Summary: Crack fic. What do you do when multiple Beckers start emerging from an anomaly?
Notes: This began as a conversation with fififolle. in Thighstrap Thursday…


A Becker a day


It wasn’t that Matt objected to the Beckers staying with him, in fact he rather liked having them around. So far, five had emerged from the anomaly, all from slightly different time periods, one or two battered and bruised from a fight. He remembered some of the places they described, times when Becker had gone through and, as far as Matt could work out, a duplicate Becker then emerged from this anomaly while the original went on with his own timeline. No one could remember Becker disappearing, so this one had to be a duplicate, he reasoned. And despite the best efforts of the ARC team, they still had no idea of how to reverse it, or why it had happened in the first place.

To begin with they had been confined to the ARC, giving the team time to run tests on them, making sure they were who they appeared to be. Becker, all of them, had endured this with the same pissed-off expression, scowling at the doctors as they took blood samples and examined them carefully. They were all definitely Becker, which had pleased Lester no end- he now had five extra Beckers, all fully trained on ARC procedure and eager to work.

Matt had somehow ended up with them all staying with him. None of them wanted to stay at the ARC and, as four of them had been involved with the Matt of their own timeline, they had no intention of being left behind now. The other one hadn’t, but he seemed to be from the time before he and Becker got to know each other, just after he arrived at the ARC. According to one of the others, the shyer one had been mustering up the courage to ask Matt out when he’d ended up here. So, all five of them went home with him, along with the original Becker who was already in this timeline.

His Becker was being surprisingly good-natured about the whole thing- after all, there were five other blokes staying with them, all of whom had no problem with wandering into the shower with Matt without warning, or climbing into bed with him.

“I like them,” Becker told him, when Matt enquired. “They’ll even watch Bruce Willis films without bitching about it.”

Matt rolled his eyes. He’d seen them all in the living room, Die Hard on the TV, occasionally commenting on the character’s use of explosives or weaponry, pointing out the inaccuracies.

A few weeks after number five arrived, however, the arguments started.

~.~

“But you got to spend yesterday with him!”

“I didn’t; that was him, not me.”

“No it wasn’t. I was with him last night, not yesterday.”

“Gentlemen, this really isn’t helping.”

“Oh, shut up. Just because you’re his favourite-”

“Actually, it’s because I was here first, remember?”

Matt sighed, opening the door and getting ready to tell them off. Again. They’d been doing this for the past couple of days, fighting over his attention as though he was a toy that they all wanted.

“Boys, enough.”

“But Matt-”

“I never even said anything,” came a quiet voice from the sofa. Matt smiled at the shy Becker who sat there, trying his best to keep out of the argument.

“He started it-”

“And I’m finishing it!” Matt told the rest of them. “Now, either you lot sort this out and stop the constant squabbling, or I’ll make you all stay at the ARC so that I can get some peace and quiet.”

Turning and walking out of the room, he quickly called Jess before he left the flat.

~.~

Matt sank down onto the sofa and cast a grateful look at Jess.

“Thanks for this. It’s just for tonight; I don’t want to impose.”

Jess set a pile of blankets and a pillow on the floor next to the sofa and sat down beside him.

“Stay as long as you need; I don’t mind. Abby went out tonight so I would have been all on my own,” she said. “I was just going to watch a movie and open a bottle of wine. Care to join me?”

At his nod, she went to get a second glass and poured him a drink.

“So, what have they done that’s driven you to sleeping on my sofa?” she asked, handing him the wine. “Here; you look like you need this.”

Taking a sip, he nodded. “I did. They’re arguing again; it’s like a room full of children when they all get together,” he said. “I told them to sort it out or they’d all be staying at the ARC. Becker 1.0 can go home but the others can’t.”

He saw Jess’s smile at ‘Becker 1.0’ but he really had no other way to talk about them individually. Maybe they would be willing to adopt different first names so that he could tell them apart, he mused. It wasn’t as though Becker actually liked his first name at the moment anyway.

“If you get tired of them, send them over here and I’ll have them,” Jess said, only half joking. “It’s typical, isn’t it? Six of them, and still not one who’s interested in me.”

Matt hugged her. “Maybe the next one will be straight.”

Jess brightened. “You think?”

“I hope so, because it’s knackering trying to keep up with them all.”

~.~

When Matt finally went home two days later, he paused just inside the flat and frowned. It was too quiet.

They were up to something.

“Matt! You came back.” It seemed that this one had finally got over his shyness as he hugged Matt. “You looked pretty annoyed with us; I was worried that you wouldn’t.”

Matt hugged him back before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “Of course I came back. Now where are the rest of you- them?”

“In your bedroom.”

Oh please don’t tell me that’s their solution, Matt thought, as a tiny part of his brain wondered if it would be classed as an orgy if six of the participants were technically the same person. They were going to be the death of him; he’d be in hospital with exhaustion.

Still, he followed Becker toward his bedroom, opening the door to be greeted by the five of them.

“We’ve been talking, and we’ve found a solution,” one Becker said.

The rest nodded. “We’ve drawn up a rota,” another added.

Matt resisted the urge to burst out laughing at just how ridiculous his life had become.

“On Mondays, he spends the day with you, and on Tuesdays it’s him and so on. And I get Wednesdays and Saturdays.” At Matt’s querying look, Becker smirked. “I was here first, so I get the extra day. It’s only fair.”

“So you say,” one of the others muttered before glancing up at Matt, looking worried. “We’re not going to start arguing again; I didn’t mean it like that.”

“And what happens if I decide that I don’t want to go by your rota one day?” Matt asked.

The Beckers all frowned. “Does that mean you don’t want to spend time with some of us?”

“No! I just meant that I might want some say in who will presumably end up in my bed at the end of the day,” Matt told them. “Or I might want some time on my own.”

One shrugged his shoulders. “Then that’s your choice. We’ll do what you want.”

Considering the fact that they had been arguing like kids only a couple of days earlier about this very same thing, he was surprised that they were being so obliging. The threat of having to live at the ARC must have been enough to make them behave.

“And what if I forget who I’m meant to be spending time with on which day?”

The smiles on the Beckers’ faces made him a bit nervous.

“We’ve thought of that,” one said, before they all turned and dropped their trousers.

This time, Matt couldn’t stop himself laughing. “Where the hell did you get those?”

“It’s amazing what you can get on the internet. We thought t-shirts might draw too much attention.”

The Beckers all stood before him in a line, trousers around their ankles, in just their briefs. Each man had a day of the week printed across their backside.


~.~
End.




Comments

( 34 comments — Leave a comment )
jooles34
Mar. 9th, 2012 04:29 pm (UTC)
*sporfles*

My brain is all whirry at what conversation could bring that about.
ebonyfeather
Mar. 9th, 2012 06:23 pm (UTC)
Thanks *g*

We were trying to decide whether Becker looked better in the pic where he was all clean and neat, or the one where he was battered and bruised and bad-ass, which then became more Beckers with the days printed on their underwear...
telperion_15
Mar. 9th, 2012 05:20 pm (UTC)
LMAO!!! Cracky genius!
ebonyfeather
Mar. 9th, 2012 06:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you! It had to be done.
fififolle
Mar. 9th, 2012 05:54 pm (UTC)
LMAO!! Oh, this is brilliant! Lucky, lucky Matt, hahahahahaha. Sort of.

“I hope so, because it’s knackering trying to keep up with them all.”
*sporfle*

I loved the shy one, and the original getting the extra day *g*

Wonderful! True justice to an amusing conversation :D
Yay Friday pants!! *squee*
ebonyfeather
Mar. 9th, 2012 06:30 pm (UTC)
Once that bunny was set free there was no stopping it!
Becker 1.0 might like the others but he's still going to play the superiority card when he wants something.

fififolle
Mar. 9th, 2012 07:36 pm (UTC)
It's a good job he likes them! Poor guy, having to share six ways! But he gets to wear two pairs of pants *veg*
deinonychus_1
Mar. 9th, 2012 06:09 pm (UTC)
*dies laughing*

Oh god, that was hilarious.

“It’s typical, isn’t it? Six of them, and still not one who’s interested in me.”
Matt hugged her. “Maybe the next one will be straight.”
Jess brightened. “You think?”
“I hope so, because it’s knackering trying to keep up with them all.”


Brilliant! Though I don't know which of them to huggle the most - Jess or Matt!
ebonyfeather
Mar. 9th, 2012 06:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks *g*

Poor Jess is ever hopeful, even when the odds are against her.
deinonychus_1
Mar. 9th, 2012 08:21 pm (UTC)
Poor Jess. *One* of them out there, somewhere, must be straight! Whether or not he likes Jess is another matter entirely, though...
freddiejoey
Mar. 9th, 2012 07:42 pm (UTC)
Oh God, you've written my version of paradise....
ebonyfeather
Mar. 12th, 2012 09:14 pm (UTC)
Mine too!
fredbassett
Mar. 9th, 2012 08:44 pm (UTC)
LOL, that's completely brilliant, and the shy better was rather adorable.
ebonyfeather
Mar. 12th, 2012 09:15 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
samueljames
Mar. 9th, 2012 09:34 pm (UTC)
I'm sure many Beckers seems good in theory but I'm not surprised Matt needed a break. I loved shy Becker who hadn't approached his Matt yet, he's adorable.
ebonyfeather
Mar. 12th, 2012 09:17 pm (UTC)
They should have rota'd in a rest day for him.
Glad you liked it
knitekat
Mar. 9th, 2012 10:38 pm (UTC)
LOL. brilliant crackFic
ebonyfeather
Mar. 12th, 2012 09:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
ebonyfeather
Mar. 12th, 2012 09:18 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
I'm sure that, between us all, we could re-home the Beckers...
flaccidduck
Mar. 10th, 2012 01:15 am (UTC)
*Swoons*
ebonyfeather
Mar. 12th, 2012 09:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
joshinator
Mar. 10th, 2012 01:20 am (UTC)
May all Thighstrap Thursdays lead to such riches
ebonyfeather
Mar. 12th, 2012 09:20 pm (UTC)
Ah, thighstraps... they do get the imagination going *g*

Thank you!
kristen_mara
Mar. 10th, 2012 02:23 am (UTC)

*howls* What a wonderful situation to be in! (I do hope that Jess gets her man in the next Becker appearance *G*) Love that Original Becker gets an extra day/certain rights and all the sibling squabbling. LOL over Lester's great fortune and the Willis bit

ebonyfeather
Mar. 12th, 2012 09:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Poor Jess- there has to be at least one out there for her. Original Becker would definitely pull rank on the others to get his own way.
celeste9
Mar. 10th, 2012 03:47 am (UTC)
ROFL! They made a rota! Of course they did. I love how they all get along and watch action movies together and then start fighting over Matt. And Lester being happy about it! He would, with all those extra Beckers eager to shoot things. But, aw, poor Jess, six Beckers and all of them gay! I have to say I'm a bit jealous of Matt and his house full of Beckers, I'd be happy to have them all squabbling over me!
ebonyfeather
Mar. 12th, 2012 09:29 pm (UTC)
There has to be one out there for Jess... Maybe the next one.

I think we'd all trade places with Matt in a heartbeat!
basched
Mar. 11th, 2012 11:40 am (UTC)

Oh Ebs! That was hilariously fantastic! Poor Matt having to keep up with them all! I love that they've got the days of the week printed on their backside! LOL

A great read! Thanks for writing it! :)
ebonyfeather
Mar. 12th, 2012 09:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
It was the idea of them all waering undies with the days on that started this!
quoththewriter
May. 6th, 2012 10:01 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHA OMG I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING. THIS IS GENIUS!
Lucky Matt, getting a housefull of Beckers to himself. And poor Jess, always hoping, never receiving. Love that the original Becker pulled rank and got an extra day! *g* And Lester being pleased because it meant more soldiers.

Just brilliant! If you ever feel like expanding this universe...please do. :D
ebonyfeather
May. 15th, 2012 05:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
I may have to add more to this (maybe give Jess a Becker of her very own).
ssw_loved
May. 6th, 2012 10:24 pm (UTC)
DEAR LORD I CANT STOP LAUGHING OH MY GOD THIS IS PERFECT.
ebonyfeather
May. 15th, 2012 05:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you *g*
( 34 comments — Leave a comment )

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